Put Me Back Together
by RoseKatnissWeasley7
Summary: A oneshot about the Doctor throughout his life. Rated K . Please review!


"**It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."**

**Suzanne Collins, **_**Mockingjay**_

The truth is, he fell apart before she did. When he slipped the dimension cannon around her neck and sent her to the parallel universe, he died inside. Then she came back, and that made him feel invincible. It made him feel like no matter what, she would always come back to him. That made it so much harder when he lost her for real. Rose was transported to the parallel universe by Pete, and that was all it took for him to shatter into a million pieces.

Moments after their goodbye, he got caught up in an adventure with Donna, and that distracted him for a little while. He almost forgot that Rose wasn't with him. That was the closest it would ever get. He had to face the fact that she was never coming back again. The Doctor forced himself to move on. Not long after, he met Martha Jones, who was absolutely brilliant from the start. She fancied him, though, and he didn't feel the same way. Even so, in a way, she helped him pick up the pieces of himself that lay on the floor and put them back together.

Every so often he would mention her, or just spend a little while thinking of her. It still hurt, he knew it always would. Three steps forward, two steps back. There were times when the Doctor felt he couldn't even live on without Rose beside him, and Martha was there. She listened to him the times he talked about her, and slowly began to realize just how much the Doctor loved and missed this human girl. She learned more of Rose when she met Captain Jack, and the Doctor very nearly broke down again, hit by memories of the good times he had with Rose and Jack so long ago.

When Martha decided it was time for her to leave, the Doctor understood. He knew he was still a broken man, and thanked Martha for all she did. Soon after her departure he came across Donna again. Like Martha, Donna realized just how broken the Doctor really was. On the other hand, rather than being unsure of what to do at first, she understood. She was betrayed by someone she loved, Lance, the man she was to marry. In a way, she lost him. She had felt, to an extent, the same pain the Doctor had. It was on a much less extreme level, but she still understood. Her normally fiery attitude was calmed when the subject of Rose came along, and she would immediately switch into calm and comforting mode. Her face softened, and she did her best to make the Doctor feel better, even though she knew the only way he would ever be truly happy was if she returned. Slowly, with the help of Donna, he was continuing to put himself back together.

Then the impossible happened. Rose came back. The happiness he felt was indescribable. For those few short hours he was with her, and that was all that mattered. The Daleks, the reality bomb – sure, they were important, but nothing compared to being with Rose again. He was truly happy for the first time in so many years.

Then along came the Metacrisis. From the moment the Doctor first saw his human counterpart, he knew what had to be done, and he shattered again. Not even being with Rose made it better, because he knew that he would have to leave her so very soon. He left her in the parallel universe, with himself. That didn't just mean the Metacrisis. An actual piece of him was left behind in that parallel universe, with the only woman he ever loved. Then he had to take away Donna's memories, and yet again, the Doctor was left alone, just like he always was.

He had himself a few more adventures, but it seemed like nothing could fix him anymore. Then the Master came back. And Wilf knocked four times.

He got to see her, before he regenerated, and that was more than he could've ever asked for. Even if it killed him that she had no idea who he was, she was standing just feet away from him, and for a moment, everything was perfect in the universe, because he got to see her smiling face. Then she was gone, and the pieces scattered again.

It was somewhat easier for him to move on after his regeneration. He was a new man, and he knew Rose was happy. Amy and Rory surely helped him, without even knowing he was broken. River Song, however was another story. He married her, yes, but it meant nothing. He loved River, sure, but nothing like he loved Rose. He knew that one day she would go to the Library, and she would die. He knew exactly what was coming, and it pained him.

All throughout his life, the Doctor would pick up the pieces of himself, just to lose them again. Until the day he died, he was incomplete. Everyone he lost haunted him. They all owned their own piece of his heart, and it stayed with them forever.

So how do you put together a puzzle when the pieces are gone?

You can't.

**A/N: Okay, this is much more angsty than the rest of the things I've written, but I saw this quote and immediately came up with this idea. I've found some other quotes that apply to the Doctor and Rose as well, that I plan on using for oneshots too. If you've got any quotes that I can use, please feel free to submit them in a review or PM! Thanks!**

**~RoseKatnissWeasley7**


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